Good Will jokes

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

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  • What would good be if it was a place?

    It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!

    I hate these double standards.

    If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

    Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?

    Good thing it was a "soft" drink!

    What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

    One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!