Good Will jokes

Roses are red, I like weed,

If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?

Cross-country.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!

Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?

Boyfriend: My mom taught me.

I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.

Why?

I don’t have a clue.

OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

What would good be if it was a place?

It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's twenty of them!

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".