Gases jokes

I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?

Who else would think of adding gas?

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.

"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."

Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.

The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.

The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.

I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!