Freetime jokes

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?

Next time I’m bringing all my friends.

I had a good time with friends!

Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.