Free Will jokes

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.

What's a convict's favorite song?

"I want to break free."

What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?

When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!

I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!

What do Karens do when they have free time?

They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.

Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."

I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.

What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?

Suck his big cock.

Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.

What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?

Dairy free.

Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”

Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”