Free Will jokes

If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.

Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.

On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Why do Jews have big noses?

Because air is free...

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

"September 11th plane driving classes for free."

What's a convict's favorite song?

"I want to break free."