Financial situation jokes

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"

Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"