Fatality jokes
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
Memes
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Memes
i wanna be a firefighter when i grow up
Community
Guys, for whatever reason, please do NOT use fly trap paper to wax your asshole!!!
Today, I was trying to search around my house for some waxing paper because my intertwined lengthy asshole hairs created a humid environment to where sweat and fungus was able to be produced. Then, I looked in my father's garage and I was able to find a large sheet of waxing paper (or so I thought).
The waxing paper was yellow for wh… Read more
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip It was early in the morning when he rode into the town He came riding from the south side slowly lookin' all around He's an outlaw loose and running, came the whi… Read more