Expiry jokes

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.

The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.

What happens when a clock is hungry?

It goes back four seconds.