wanna hear a mean joke? my life
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Steven Hawking said there is no God,
Then God said there is no Steven Hawking.
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
My sex life.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life?
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a mustang challenger? A mustang challenger doesn't exist
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
you.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
my life
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
