Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
Little Johnny died.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
I have a funny joke: my life.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Your life, that's all.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
Tell me a joke.
My life.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
