Executive Branch jokes

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!