Elves jokes
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
What do elves study in school?
The elf-abet.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."