Edward jokes

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Summary of Twilight in one sentence:

Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

You gonna poop someday.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Edward Robinson + Grant Wisler = WHAT THE FU**?

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

bradley

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.