Edward jokes

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Summary of Twilight in one sentence:

Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

You gonna poop someday.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Edward Robinson + Grant Wisler = WHAT THE FU**?

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"