I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
He: “Do you smoke after sex?”
She: “I don’t know. I’ve never looked.”
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
How does NASA organize a party? – They planet.
Do all black people have a problem with slavery? Or just mine?
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? – Mumbai!
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? – Just Juan.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What’s the difference between Batman and a black guy?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.
How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.
There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said “me find food” and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian “me find food” he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said “me find food” he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.🥁