im bone dry in material but i have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes after i tell you all these rib ticklers you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny you outta rip my spine out
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri....
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
Robyn Olive in 10
Eli Tremain
What do lawyers wear to court?lawsuits
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
wanna hear a dry joke? a desert
whats the difference between a pool and a toddler? one doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
I like women how I like my hair dryer, locked in a closet most of the time, and only being used to blow me dry
this one time i said to a person that tehy are dry they i was wet (ba dum tiss) my bully said i have to shut up i said shut down (ba dum tiss)
