DoS jokes
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
"Bill, never do that again."
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
Memes
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”
And vanished.