How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
What do you call an owl that does magic?
Hooodini.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.
There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.
What do you call cringe?
You.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
