Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
What do you call an autistic ant? An Evelyn.
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
What is the difference between the human rights act and the rights of the earth human and the earth earth is a good earth 🌎 was that what time do for dinner 🍽 night night love 💗 night night fun day and dinner 🍴 night night fun day home 🏡 night is it a great 👍 home 🏡 was the day I love 💕
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
What Do You Call A Three Humped Camel? Pregnant
What do you call a muslim flying a plane... A pilot
