DoS jokes
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?
I would leave them hanging.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
Memes
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can be loved.
When red do be sus, though.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
How do you get away with murder?
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?