DoS jokes
What do you call a burnt retard?
Tomato
What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Memes
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can be loved.
How do you get away with murder?
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.