How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
DoS Jokes
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?
They’re cheetahs!
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
