DoS jokes
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Memes
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.