What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
DoS Jokes
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it's tear-able!
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
MC Squared.
What do you call an Israeli strike against Gaza?
A Kike Strike!
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.
I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
