DoS jokes
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
Memes
What do you call Cyanne when she first wakes up? Nanny McPhee.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???
How do ghosts cry?
Boo hoo.
How do demons cry?
ERCDVHVXRCDHGHDCFHBGFBHGN FGEHJGNVEGHDNES BGEWYSHGBEWHGSGNBDGEBSHNZAGCHNSNGEHSNGVHGNNEBDSVZHGB.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.