DoS jokes
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
What am I doing?
Your mom.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
Memes
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Why do orphans eat cereal with milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
Why do orphans like to play Minecraft?
Because they like to have a home.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What do orphans go to church for?
So they can call someone "father."
What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!