DoS jokes
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
Memes
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
What do you call a retard?
"Kahin."
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What do you call a kid in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?