DoS jokes
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?
A Cake By The Ocean.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
Memes
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
What do you call a retard in the military?
Special forces.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
Why do ponies hate Silento?
Because they neigh neigh too much!
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Bassline.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.