DoS jokes

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?

What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.

What do you call a dwarf with autism? Matthew Michal?

What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow!

Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P

How do you call a very long terrorist?

9/11.

Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?

They never had parents to protect them from it.

What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.

Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?

Jah Bless.

So I punched an orphan...

What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???

What do you call an orphan village?

An orphanage.

Your hairline is so ugly, even Dora the Explorer can’t even do it.

What games do orphans hate?

Bingo.

Why do Asians abandon their children?

They're bad at math.

If you’re bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.