What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
DoS Jokes
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlost.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
What do you call a school bus driver that cannot walk? A silly school bus driver!
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto! 😂
