DoS jokes
Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"
Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."
Memes
Procrastination
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.
Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.