DoS jokes

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

What movie do orphans hate? "Home."

What do dentists play at their practice?

Dental records.

When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?

You should bully orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why do orphans become hookers?

'Cause they can call someone "daddy."

What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?

"Nice cut, G."

What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?

A cocksucker.

What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?

Octopie!

Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.

What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?

Bubble 007.

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

Why do orphans play baseball?

Because they have to run back to home base.

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."