DoS jokes
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Memes
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
Do not roast. *sigh in depression*
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)