DoS jokes
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Memes
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
I would create an orphan website...
But you need a home page to do that.
(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷♀️
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY