DoS jokes
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Memes
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."