DoS jokes
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Memes
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- PokΓ©mon
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You canβt be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
Itβs the only place they can vote!
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.