DoS jokes
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
Memes
Don’t think, just do, live in the now, don’t care about the future, yeeeeee
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"