DoS jokes
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
Memes
What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?
Johnny Cash.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?
Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"