DoS jokes
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
Memes
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?
Both were owned by their own kind.