DoS jokes
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
Memes
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
What do you call a shedding Panera Bread?
Panera Shed.
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.