DoS Jokes

Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?

Spread the love!

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye-deer (no idea).

How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...

no face haha

A person is taking a selfie with their face completely covered by a black scribble. They are wearing a black t-shirt with the word "WINNING" in white letters and "IT'S WHAT I DO" written multiple times below the main word.

What do you call a crying dick?

I call it a crying dick.

How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?

- Pokémon

Do you know your E?

You're E tarded.

Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?

A. An ambulance.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."