DoS jokes
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
"The f*** am I even doing here?"
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Memes
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
To the retail store.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!