DoS jokes
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
Because they want to be wanted.
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Memes
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
What do you call a pencil with no end?..
Pointless.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
What do you do when you're sad?
Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
What do you call a door? A floor.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"