DoS jokes

What do you call an orphan selfie?

A family photo.

What do you call a phone that talks?

A reader in a leader.

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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Why do you like cream instead of bugs?

Because bugs can kill you.

What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?

They both have eyes.

What show do orphans hate the most?

Fullerb

What do you call someone with a big butt?

The Thightanic!

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.

What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

Hey, what do you call a beta simp?

You call me the beta simp.

What do / and \ have in common?

They have different results.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.