DoS jokes
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
5 Cobra Kai Facts:
1: Johnny = Daniel
2: Miguel > Robby
3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang
4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver
5: Tory is actually a good person.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Memes
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Why do orphans not get family size [items]?
Because they don’t have a family to share with.
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
How do you find Will Smith?
You look for the Fresh Prince.
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!