DoS jokes
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Memes
DO NOT LOOK AT THE IMAGES
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.