DoS jokes
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
Memes
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
TY-WON-SHO
(Tie one shoe)
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
What do you call somebody with no nose?
What do you call a notorious special needs student with an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.