DoS jokes
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Memes
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.