If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
DoS Jokes
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
You pecan do it!
