DoS jokes
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
Memes
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
"How do you make 7 even?"
"Take away the s."
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?