DoS jokes
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Memes
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.