Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."
DoS Jokes
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
