DoS jokes
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Memes
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kaneâs, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I donât give a fuck about what you say.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! đđ€
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?
Nail one hand to the ground...
How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.