DoS jokes
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
What mountain do runners race on?
Mount Rushmore.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
Memes
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Why do all orphans buy an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Do fish have tits?
Fish tits.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.