DoS jokes
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
Memes
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why do all orphans buy an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
What mountain do runners race on?
Mount Rushmore.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."