Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
DoS Jokes
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
