DoS jokes
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
What do a black and a tornado have in common?
They both wreck neighborhoods.
Memes
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.