"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
How do cookies šŖ give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didnāt put enough backbone into it.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What do robots š¤ shave with?
Laser blades!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
Itās like masturbation. Sometimes itās not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. Thatās what thighjobs are for.
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
What game do Emos play?
Fruit Ninja.
(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
Why do orphans hate baseball so much?
Because they can't run home.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
