DoS jokes
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."
"Did I do that?"
Memes
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What do you call a black person?
Dark humor.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. đź‘Ť